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Nowadays, computers are an important part of most people's everyday live.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The upsurge of computer development is followed by the dispute about it's influence on people's live. From my perspective, this kind of technology is not remarkably crucial as considered.

Firstly, I would argue that not every available online service is reliable and able to outweigh the original forms. At the moment, numerous websites such as Amazon and Ebay offer convenient shopping experiences regardless of geographic distance. Nevertheless, the products' quality is typically unsatisfying as you cannot see or touch the goods directly. For instance, online clothing purchasing discourages consumers with indistinct size tables, which reality shopping does not seem to bother as the customers can try their selected products in the fitting room before checking out.

Secondly, I strongly believe that computer will never be the most crucial supplement in academic curriculum. As a matter of fact, online resources provide us with the variety of information with regard to several major fields, however, to benefit from this kind of learning, students have to be able to discriminate between sources and sift information to marshall their facts, whilst course books, which are composed by pedagogical experts and designed to be incorporated into any subject syllabus, appear to be more qualified and practical. 

Overall, in spite of its dramatic explosion, computer's impact on people's live happens to be overrated as it could not replace existing human activities.

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+1 phiếu

Bài này mình đánh giá khoảng 5.0-6.0, way to go.
1. upsurge of -> upsurge in
2. it's influence -> its influence
3. original forms ? You haven't stated any forms.
4. At the moment -> In today's world (hoc thuat hon )
5. reality shopping -> traditional shopping
6. before checking them out
7. ,however,  -> .However
8. to benefit from this kind of learning -> to gain beneficial results from this learning style
9. marshall their facts ? Vague
10. people's live -> modern life, society
Nhìn chung có ý tưởng tốt nhưng cách diễn đạt còn nhiều hạn chế. Nên ngắt câu, tránh viết dài, mỗi câu khoảng 12-20 từ là ok. Các từ nên xem lại các liên từ không nên sử dụng tùy tiện whilst, nevertheless khi chưa tìm hiểu kỹ.

 

 

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
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Tips: Thành viên với 10 points trở lên sẽ được sửa bài bởi Team Writing 7.5 :)
Bắt đầu nhận xét ở mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để bắt đầu kiếm point nhé :)

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