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Thành viên với 10 points trở lên sẽ được sửa bài bởi Team Writing 7.5 từ IELTS Planet - Học IELTS Online.
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Some people believe that choosing a job in terms of the size of the salary offered is a fateful decision on individual career. From my viewpoint, I disagree with the statement because I believe that people should think other criteria over  regardless of how much the wage is.

To begin with, jobs will be selected based on passion rather than money. If people follow their dream jobs, their daily duties will become their interests, their daily interesting journey. In other word, passion is the origin of joy, commitment, motivation and perseverance to address challenges and achieve successes. By contrast, when money is valued over passion, it is easy for employees to end up in an endless cycle of misery: working hard to retire and using money to enjoy themselves. Thus, chasing down dream jobs is the best choice for students who think about their future career .

Besides, other considerations are just as substantial as money. Firstly, personal relationships and the atmosphere in a work place play a crucial part in choosing a job. Working with a good manager as well as friendly and helpful colleagues, for example, not only enables staff to make good progress and develop themselves but also make a huge difference to workers’ quality of life. Furthermore, some people consider a career according to their ability, skills and professional achievements rather than money they earn.

To sum up,  the importance of monetary value is undeniable. Especially, to some extent, salaries certainly affect people’s decision on their career path. However I do not believe that money outweighs all other motivators.
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+1 phiếu

Some people believe that choosing a job in terms of the size of the salary offered is a fateful decision on individual career. From my viewpoint, I disagree with the statement because I believe that people should think other criteria over  regardless of how much the wage is.

To begin with, jobs will be selected based on passion rather than money. If people follow their dream jobs, their daily duties will become their interests, their daily interesting journey. In other word, passion is the origin of joy, commitment, motivation and perseverance to address challenges and achieve successes. By contrast, when money is valued over passion, it is easy for employees to end up in an endless cycle of misery: working hard to retire and using money to enjoy themselves. Thus, chasing down dream jobs is the best choice for students who think about their future career .

Besides, other considerations are just as substantial as money. Firstly, personal relationships and the atmosphere in a work place play a crucial part in choosing a job. Working with a good manager as well as friendly and helpful colleagues, for example, not only enables staff to make good progress and develop themselves but also make a huge difference to workers’ quality of life. Furthermore, some people consider a career according to their ability, skills and professional achievements rather than money they earn.

To sum up,  the importance of monetary value is undeniable. Especially, to some extent, salaries certainly affect people’s decision on their career path. However I do not believe that money outweighs all other motivators.

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý bởi (217 điểm)
+1 phiếu

Some people believe that choosing a job in terms of the size of the salary offered is a fateful decision on individual career. From my viewpoint, I disagree with the statement because I believe that people should think other criteria ( tớ nghĩ không có tiêu chuẩn nào để tìm việc , minh nên dùng factors/considerations) over  regardless of how much the wage is.

To begin with, jobs will be selected based on passion rather than money. If people follow their dream jobs, their daily duties will become their interests, their daily interesting journey. In other word, passion is the origin of joy, commitment, motivation and perseverance to address challenges and achieve successes. By contrast, when money is valued over passion, it is easy for employees to end up in an endless cycle of misery: working hard to retire and using money to enjoy themselves. Thus, chasing down dream jobs is the best choice for students who think about their future career .

Besides, other considerations are just as substantial as money. Firstly, personal relationships and the atmosphere in a work place play a crucial part in choosing a job. Working with a good manager as well as friendly and helpful colleagues, for example, not only enables staff to make good progress and develop themselves but also make a huge difference to workers’ quality of life. (cái này tớ thấy không rõ nghĩa lắm)  Furthermore, some people consider a career according to  (based on) their ability, skills and professional achievements rather than money they earn.

To sum up,  the importance of monetary value is undeniable. Especially, to some extent, salaries certainly affect people’s decision on their career path. However I do not believe that money outweighs all other motivators.

 

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Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
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