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Thành viên với 10 points trở lên sẽ được sửa bài bởi Team Writing 7.5 từ IELTS Planet - Học IELTS Online.
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Topic: every day, millions of tons food are wasted all over around the world. Why do you think this is happening? and how we solve this problem?

It is true that these days a number of people in the world throw away a copious amount of food in a regular basis. Reasons for this wary, and steps need to be taken to combat the problem.

Firstly, with the econimic growth, the decrease in the appeciation of food is to blame. Many people want to change their eating habits to lead a healthy lifestyle. Therefore, when they go to the suppermarket, they have aspirations to buy ingredients that are listed some recipies. However, they find it difficult to break their habits and they do not use these food. For example, my brother bought several bags of grains to follow some cooking formulas which have a profound effect on his heart health, but after several days he gave up this.

Another reason is that companies in food field have used many advertising methods to encourage customers to consume more food than they need. A number of suppermarkets offer their consumers a range of promotion programs such as a 10% discount and buy-one-give-one. This leads them to make impetuous decisions to pick up more food than they appreciate. Therefore, they often cannot consume all of these food and they have to throw away these after several days.

However, there are a number of measures to tackle the issue. Firstly, the government conducts campaigns to raise public awareness about saving food. The local authorities can give their residents pragmatic tips to prepare enough food for their family. Another solution is that stringent law should be imposed on forbid food waste at places such as suppermarkets and restaurants.

In conclusion, global food waste is not intractable, and solutions are avaiable to mitigate the problem.
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It is true that these days a number of people in the world throw away a copious amount of food in on a regular basis. Reasons for this wary vary, and steps need to be taken to combat the problem.

Firstly, with the 
econimic economic growth, the decrease in the appeciation appreciation of food is to blame. Many people want to change their eating habits to lead a healthy lifestyle. Therefore, when they go to the suppermarket, they have aspirations to buy ingredients that are listed in some recipies. However, they find it difficult to break their habits and thus/ therefore they do not use these food. For example, my brother bought several bags of grains to follow some cooking formulas which have a profound effect on his heart's / cardiovascular health, but after several days he gave up this.

Another reason is that companies in food 
field industry have used many advertising methods to encourage customers to consume more food than they need. A number of suppermarkets offer their consumers a range of promotion programs such as a 10% discount and buy-one-give-one. This obviously leads them to make impetuous decisions to pick up more food than they appreciate. Therefore, they often cannot consume all of these food and they have to throw away these after several days.
 

 

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý bởi (15 điểm)

However, there are a number of measures to tackle the issue. Firstly, the government should conduct campaigns to raise public awareness about the necessity of saving food. The local authorities can give their residents pragmatic tips to prepare enough food for their family. Another solution is that stringent law should be imposed on to forbid food waste at places such as suppermarkets and restaurants.

In conclusion, global food waste is
, in fact, not intractable, and solutions are avaiable to mitigate the problem.

Một số nhận xét:

- Paragraph ý 1 về comprehesion chưa oke lắm. Câu topic (Firstly, with the econimic economic growth, the decrease in the appeciation appreciation of food is to blame) không liên quan lắm đến mấy câu sau.

- Lỗi ngữ pháp của mấy từ common còn khá nhiều => bị trừ kha khá điểm.

- Bạn nên dùng tentative language vs emphasis để câu uyển chuyển hơn.

Ví dụ: Emphasis: This obviously leads them to make impetuous decisions to pick up more food than they appreciate.

         Tentative: They tend to / often/ may have aspirations to buy ingredients that are listed in some recipies.

- Một số chỗ cần tránh lặp từ: A number of => A numerous of/ A myriad of/ Many.

   Therefore => As a result/ Thus.

Cảm ơn bạn giúp mình sửa bài hihi :) . Bạn xem câu topic sentence ở body 1 của mình đã hợp lý hơn chưa vơi... thanks in advance :)

It is true that these days many people in the world throw away a copious amount of food on a regular basis. Reasons for this vary, and steps need to be taken to combat the problem.

Firstly, using food in the ineffective and unreasonable ways is to blame. Many people want to change their eating habits to lead a healthy lifestyle. As a result, when they go to the suppermarket, they tend to have aspirations to buy ingredients that are listed in some recipies. However, they find it difficult to break their habits; therefore, they do not use these food. For example, my brother bought several bags of grains to follow some cooking formulas which have a profound effect on his heart's health, but after several days he gave up this.

Another reason is that companies in food industry have used many advertising methods to encourage customers to consume more food than they need. Almost suppermarkets offer their consumers a range of promotion programs such as a 10% discount and buy-one-give-one. This obviously leads them to make impetuous decisions to pick up more food than they appreciate. Therefore, they often cannot consume all of these food and they have to throw away these after several days.

However, there are a number of measures to tackle the issue. Firstly, the government should conduct campaigns to raise public awareness about saving food. For example, the local authorities can give their residents pragmatic tips to prepare enough food for their family. Another solution is that stringent law should be imposed on forbid food waste at places such as suppermarkets and restaurants.

In conclusion, global food waste is, in fact, not intractable, and solutions are avaiable to mitigate the problem.

Mình nghĩ là oke hơn rồi đấy. Chúc bạn ôn thi tốt =)))))

Tips: Thành viên với 10 points trở lên sẽ được sửa bài bởi Team Writing 7.5 :)
Bắt đầu nhận xét ở mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để bắt đầu kiếm point nhé :)

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