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Many people nowadays believe that in order to become successful, one needs to be rooted with incredible inherent talent. However, I personally think that anyone can become extraordinary people, whether or not they are born with certain abilities or talents.

          The first reason is that in order to be successful, people need to be hardworking and determined. As Edison said: “Genius: 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration”. People who are born with talents but don’t appreciate and waste them will eventually stop evolving and gradually becoming a normal, insignificant person. However, if common people pour all of their souls and efforts into their desirable things, always being determined towards their goals, they can eventually achieve what they want. For example like Jeremy Lin, who is a renowned basketball star. Despite his lack of abilities and strength, Jeremy still arduously practices daily in order to compensate for his lack-of-genius sides. And eventually due to his insurmountable efforts, he has become an excellent basketball player, who constantly amazes audience with his skills.

          The second reason is because of modern teaching systems. While in the past, there were no official research about raising your child properly, nowadays, things have changed. As professor Ryan Gabay at Tufts University has said: “The distance between successful and unsuccessful people nowadays doesn’t lie on the prospect of genius any more, but about how they are taught to become ones”. Due to the vast development of scientific research, there are many methods nowadays that specialized in teaching children to become genius or even excel at many fields or areas like sports or music like exposing to music early or play chess to raise IQ…. So it is therefore, not necessary for a child to possess an inherent ability in sports or music to be able to become a good sportsman or musician.

          To sum up, while genius is a factor that is inevitable in anyone’s success, every child can become successful people thanks to hard work, determination and modern teaching systems.
Rating: 4.90
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+2 phiếu

Chào bạn. Nội dung & cấu trúc của bài ổn. Trong bài thi IELTS, trừ khi bạn chắc chắn 101% là câu trích dẫn đúng từng từ từng chữ, tốt nhất là không quote. Kết bài không thể chỉ viết 1 câu. 

Thêm nữa là có 1 chỗ bạn quote tác giả nhưng câu đó lại thiểu mệnh đề chính. Sửa lại một chút là ổn. Bài của bạn mình sửa dưới đây. Chúc bạn may mắn!

Many people nowadays believe that in order to become successful, one needs to have innate talent. However, I think that anyone can become extraordinary, regardless of whether they were born with certain abilities or talents.

In order to be successful, people need to be hardworking and determined. As Edison said, “Genius: 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration”, people who are born with talents but don’t (never use a contracted form) appreciate and waste them will eventually stop learning and gradually become a normal and insignificant person. However, when an average person pours all of his efforts into achieveing his objectives and keeps being persistent, he can achieve what he wants. Jeremy Lin, a basketball star, overcomes his lack of abilities and strength with daily practice. Due to his insurmountable efforts, he has constantly amazed audience with his skills.

The second reason is because of modern teaching systems (ngữ pháp sai). In the past, no significant research was done on parenting. Nowadays, things have changed. As professor Ryan Gabay at Tufts University said, “The distance between successful and unsuccessful people nowadays doesn’t lie on the prospect of genius any more, but about how they are taught to become ones” (câu này thiếu mệnh đề chính). Due to scientific research, methods have been developed to help children excel in certain fields like sports or music. Some of them involve exposing them to music early or playing chess to raise IQ. Therefore, it is not necessary for a child to possess an inherent ability in sports or music to be able to become a good sportsman or musician.

To sum up, while talent is important in achieving success, it is not the deciding factor. Every child can be successful with hard work, determination and help from modern teaching methods.

Rating: 3.10
đã góp ý bởi (90 điểm)
+1 phiếu

Đây là task 2 writing academic của test 1 CAMBRIDGE IELTS 7.mình thấy bạn có 1 chút nhầm lẫn khi tiếp cận đề bài:có 2 phần là discuss 2 views& give opinion.bạn thiếu discuss 1 quan điểm trái ý kiên của

 mình.Bạn nên tìm quyển CI7để tham khảo Sample.rất hay & sát đề

Rating: 8.00
đã góp ý bởi (24 điểm)
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mình thấy bạn dùng DUE TO 2 lần.nhưng bạn hiểu nhầm về cách sử DUE TO bởi vì DUE TO cộng với cái ý tiêu cực .ví dụ:due to his laziness,he failed in the last entrance exam.Đúng ra bạn phải dùng THANKS TO thay cho DUE TO bởi THANKS TO cộng với cụm có nghĩ tích cực là nhờ vào cái gì đó mà bạn có được cái gì đó.....đối với DUE TO do cái gì đó mà bạn bị cái gì đó hai cái này trái nguuwocj nhau.smiley chúc bạn thành công !

Rating: 2.00
đã góp ý bởi (5 điểm)
0 phiếu
sample essay in Cam 7:

paragraph 2: Obviously, education systems are based on the belief that all students can effectively be taught to acquire different skills, including those associated with sport, art or music. So from our own school experience, we can find plenty of evidence to support the view that students can acquire these skills with continued teaching and guided practice.
Rating: 8.80
đã góp ý bởi (9 điểm)
0 phiếu

Mong các anh chị góp ý giúp em bài viết này với, vì cùng chủ đề nên mong anh chị giúp em do em mới tập viết nên chưa biết như thế nào, em xin cảm ơn anh chị nhiều ạ.

There are a number of citizens who subscribe to the viewpoint that some children were born with talents which would determine their achievement in the future. In the meanwhile, others disagree with this perspective and demonstrate that any baby can be taught to become successful residents. Personally, I contend that prodigy is not the deciding factor.

There is no doubt that most world famous musicians and sportsmen were born with natural genius genes. Mozart’s case, for instance, is persuasive evidence in this situation because his extraordinary mastermind was quickly discovered by his father when he was only a little boy. As a result, his great accomplishment promptly achieved while he just aged 17. Apparently, talents will change into essential assistance to support children on their prospective careers in multiple circumstances.

On the other hand, in spite of supportive examples in relation to prodigy, I am persuaded that talent is not unique factor so as to reach prosperity. Nowadays, through deeply researching projects, many specialists are resolute that students can be guided to acquire their abilities by applying efficient education methods. The relevant oriented techniques play indispensible role to support pupils understanding their passionate that will decide children’s successfulness. Another reason assisting this standpoint is that not only education methods but wealthy can also be determined by hard working and passion in chosen pathways.

In conclusion, although there is no disputing about active assistance of talents to reach affluence, I am of opinion that educational procedures together with toiling and passionate will be more perfect elements than gifted factor.

(258 words)

Rating: 8.70
đã góp ý bởi (138 điểm)

Tips: Thành viên với 10 points trở lên sẽ được sửa bài bởi Team Writing 7.5 :)
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