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Website Chuawritingmienphi là forum chữa bài miễn phí, được chữa từ chính cộng đồng học IELTS, các bạn hãy cũng nhau chia sẻ kinh nghiệm viết bài, cùng nhau chữa bài, góp ý, chung tay vì một cộng đồng học IELTS phát triển hơn nữa nhé.
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Nowaday, our world always change and integrate to develope. Besides that, the difference about languages was becoming an important problem for communication between people in others countries. So  learning foreign language at school is very important especially for children who will decide the world's future.

Firstly, teaching at least one foreign language for kids is probably a good idea. Children are like adult person with all curiousness about life. Children who be learned foreign languages at school will have basic knowledge about culture and feature of foreign countries. It is great conditions for them to widen not only their sight but also their soul. For example, a Vietnamese child be learned English aware more information about Christmas and New Year in the world by herself (or himself). She (or he) can sing traditional songs of English about this special holidays and understand about foreign music.

Secondly, foreign languages for children would surely a good thing because it helps kids to communicate with foreign friends. That would be a fantastic chance for children to make friend as much as possible. Communication is an important skill for everyone in morden life, so it is so good for kids when they have many lovely relationships as soon as they are so naive. For example, children can have a foreign pen pal and maybe sometimes it becomes a special relationship in their life.

In conclusion, foreign languages have many advantage to children. Basic knowledge and communication skill are just a part of foreign language' advantages. However, it show that teaching foreign languages at school for children like gives them confidence in  morden era.
Rating: 6.05
đã hỏi trong IELTS - Task 2 bởi (0 điểm)
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Xin vui lòng đăng nhập hoặc đăng ký để góp ý bài viết này.

7 góp ý

+1 phiếu

Đây là feedback của mình. Chỉ là tham khảo thôi nhé. Hihi. Nice to meet you. Sorry vì mình sửa hơi nhiều nên làm như vậy dễ nhìn hơn. 

https://qhapka.dm2301.livefilestore.com/y2p6y8-MiaWvsHFbshmSzzRP2R3F2vcKt0ls3fV79-Dz9EaLC27iYokAghJ5MOvmouEZxx2eBjPy5UWgJ6Fi83zJxPFVnOr0xAX6ERC9jUjZAw/feedback-page-0.jpg?psid=1 Bấm vào link nếu bạn ko thấy hình nhé

Rating: 7.30
đã góp ý bởi (23 điểm)
sửa nội dung bởi
thanks a lot <3 ^^
0 phiếu
Because #Etersoul has already corrected your common mistakes in your essays, i will only give some comments on other aspects.

You should use more academic words.

You should avoid using the word nowadays in the beginning of the essay. nowadays is only used when you mention something that didnt happen in the past, used to compare the present and the past. At the beginning of the essay, you should use These days or recently instead of nowadays.

That's all. Hope you will find my comment helpful.

Sjncerely,

Greeny
Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý bởi (13 điểm)
Thanks a lot <3
0 phiếu
Besides that, the difference about languages was becoming an important problem for communication between people in others countries. -> Besides, the language barriers have been becoming a major problem for communicating between countries So  learning foreign language at school -> So  learning a foreign language at school (phải có a nếu không thì bạn dùng số nhiều languages) Lỗi số nhiều số ít của bạn tương đối nhiều, bạn mở word 10 ra gõ văn bản vào là nó có thể check dc cho bạn kha khá lỗi grammar đó.
Rating: 7.90
đã góp ý bởi (27 điểm)
cảm ơn bạn rất nhiều, đây đúng là lỗi mình hay gặp ^^
+2 phiếu

Nowadays, our world has changed to develope rapidly. The language differences are manificant problem for people to communicate. That is the reason why learning foreign languages at school plays an important role, especially for children.

The first reason is that children should learn at least one foreign language at shool to help easily communicate in the future. Children who has learned foreign languages at school will have basic knowledge about culture and people of oversea countries. It would help to creat great foundations for them to widen their mind. For example, a Vietnamese student who studies English will has basic information ion about original Christmas and New Year in the world. He also can sing and understand the meaning of English traditional songs of this special holidays....................."

P.s: Đoạn sau thì mình không đồng ý lắm :D Không phải ai học anh văn cũng có cơ hội gặp gỡ bạn bè quốc tế để thực tập ^_^

Rating: 0.70
đã góp ý bởi (26 điểm)
Idea đâu có quan trọng :D quan trọng là từ vựng, grammar và diễn đạt. Có ai chấm điểm idea đâu. Chỉ có lợi là idea tốt thì diễn đạt tốt thôi :D
0 phiếu
mình nghĩ nên có các conclusion sau các đoạn 2 và 3, bạn chỉ cho ví dụ xong rồi bỏ ngỏ thế thì bị đứt mạch văn, tốt hơn là nên để example ở giữa đoạn văn, mình thấy cả 2 example của bạn đều ở cuối đoạn.
Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý bởi (4 điểm)
cảm ơn bạn nhiều, góp ý của bạn rất hữu ích với mình ^^
+2 phiếu

Nowadays, the world always change and integrate to develop. Besides, the difference about languages has become an important problem for communication between people in different countries. So  learning foreign language at school is very important ,especially for children who will decide the world's future.

Firstly, teaching at least one foreign language for primary students (kids informal) is probably a good idea. Children are like adult person with all curiosities about life. Children who learne foreign languages at school will have basic knowledge about culture and feature of those foreign countries. It is great condition for them to widen not only their sight but also their soul. For example, a Vietnamese child who is taught English is aware of more information about Christmas and New Year around the world by herself (or himself). She (or he) can sing traditional songs of English-speaking countries about these special holidays and understand about foreign music.

Secondly, foreign languages for children would probably be a good thing because it helps them to communicate with foreign friends. That would be a fantastic chance for children to make as many friends as possible. Communication is an important skill for everyone in morden life, so it is  good for children when they have many lovely relationships as soon as they are so naive ( i don't get your idea). For example, children can have a foreign pen pal and perhaps sometimes it becomes a special relationship in reality.

In conclusion, foreign languages bring about many advantages to children. Basic knowledge and communication skill are just a part of foreign language' advantages. However, it proves that teaching foreign languages at school for children like giving them confidence in morden era.

 

Bố cục bài tốt lắm :D Tránh dùng từ informal bạn nhé. Congrats!

Rating: 4.80
đã góp ý bởi (64 điểm)
0 phiếu

A glance at the table provided reveals people’s trend in consuming different types of grocery from five nations in 2002. Dietary items’ consumption, overall, was the highest amount while this figure for entertainment and training is the lowest.

Food, drinks and tobacco were the most consumed commodity. Therein, Turkish citizens held the first rank of consumers, which accounted for over 32 percent. The smallest number belonged to people from Sweden. Their percentage was nearly a half of Turkish, which was only 16 percent.

On the contrary, wearing and mental items were much less needed than dietary one, despite insignificant differentials between the two categories. Italians spent most money on clothing and footwear. They represented a percentage of exactly nine while just over five percent of Swedish consumers bought those.

Statistics showed that very few people used pleasure and education goods in all the five countries. Spanish inhabitants’ consumption constituted the lowest number, which was no more than two percent. The highest figure again went to Turkey which accounted for over four percent. 

 

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý bởi (35 điểm)

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