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Bài ielts task 2 What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?

Chào mọi người mình là thành viên mới, rất mong các bạn góp ý nhiệt tình nhé. 

Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?

In the recent years, there is a phenomenon which both mother and father work, and they have little time to spend with time to spend with their children. As a consequent, they tend to buy their infants a great deal of toys to company. Some people believe that they completely beneficial, but I strongly think that this has both advantages and disadvantages. 

It goes without saying that children are likely to derive a huge benefits from having a huge number of toys . To start with, it is able to help them be more creative and imaginative than those who owning few toys . By seeing, touching and especially feeling them, children can learn much from it. Taking the Lego game for example, at first, the mites only know to arrange them higher, but after that, they are likely to create various different figures. From that, the creative ability of the children changes gradually. Secondly, toys can help kids develop their aware capacity. There are some types has simple appearance , but they make children think and build the relations. For instance, if the kids play the puzzle games, they will get the important lessons which are that the circle can turn round, while the square are not. Therefore, the playthings play a vital role in the intellectual development of children. 

In the other hand, besides there great effects, having a diversity of drawbacks. In the first place, when having many toys to play, children are inclined to be indifferent to their relatives, event their parents. In accordance to a survey about toys of Oxford University in 2006, due to children’s passion to the toy, they seldom have a conversation with their parents. What they do is just plaything with their toys ad showing their annoyance if anyone disturb them. What is more, the most serious disadvantage is that children are possible get sick due to toys. According to a latest report of RAPEX, many toys like dice, horse rattle, robot and slide which are original form China regardless to their costs contain the poison. As for the scientific aspect, DEHP, that is an extremely toxic and causes damage children’s health, accounted for 15-32 per cent in these ones. As a result, it is prohibited to use in all the global products. 

In short, it is apparent that everything has two-sided and playing with various playthings has no exception. In my belief , it has both benefits and drawbacks. Parents should not forbid their kids playing toys because they are the customary pleasure, the treasure, the desire and the proud of almost of the infants. It is necessary for the mum and dad to observe, take care of and control their children while they play with their toys. 

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đã hỏi 17 Tháng 6, 2016 trong advantages,disadvantages bởi trymybest (4 điểm)
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"In the recent years, there is a phenomenon which both mother and father work, and they have little time to spend with time to spend with their children. As a consequent, they tend to buy their infants a great deal of toys to company."
 
Phần mở bài bạn không cần phải giới thiệu vậy đâu. Chỉ cần paraphrase lại câu "Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with." của đề bài là được rồi. Viết thêm không được thêm điểm mà còn bị mất thời gian và có thể bị thêm lỗi sai nữa.
Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý 8 Tháng 5, 2017 bởi TogepiLinhVuu (2 điểm)

Tips: Thành viên với 10 points trở lên sẽ được sửa bài bởi Team Writing 7.5 :)
Bắt đầu nhận xét ở mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để bắt đầu kiếm point nhé :)

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