Đề thi IELTS Writing task 2 - 02/06/2016 - It is suggested that everyone wants to have a car, a television and a fridge ... - Chữa Writing miễn phí
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TOPIC task 2 ngày 02/06/2016 :

It is suggested that everyone wants to have a car, a television and a fridge. Do disadvantages of this development for society outweigh advantages?

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Hướng dẫn sử dụng trong top Chữa đề IELTS hàng tuần:

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Have fun !

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Bài mẫu: Updating...

 

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã hỏi trong Chữa đề ielts hàng tuần bởi (-141 điểm)
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0 phiếu
Nowaday everybody want to have high-tech machine and smart devices. The appearance of technology makes our life more terrific. All of them are really cool. But does it work for social life like we thought? Things always have there good side and bad side.

Why everyone want to have it? It's easy to find the answer. Because it' too covenient, helpfull and automatic. For example: The television makes us relax after a tired day, it gives a lot of good informations about the economic, weather and so on. the washing machine cleans all clothes without our stregth. We can use the car for moving. What about the disavantage of this? If you think it doesn't have, you were wrong. There are a lot. First it makes us passive and lazy. If your kids use smart divices soon, they could be bad for them to growing. The worst is focused for hours even day by day. Second, some sellsmans knows what we want. So they make fake and low quality things like well-known appliance to sell with lower prices. Typical, in China there was a boy died by using charging phone, cause that bad phone burst. The last is about our dear enviroment. The earth is being heated by car CO2. In some country, the air has poisonous. The modern life is not bad, the badess is the way we use

We can't deny the function of technology so use it in smart way. If we have it and use it right, this is developing.

http://chuawritingmienphi.com/5311/ielts-writing-task-2016-suggested-that-everyone-wants-have-car-television-and-fridge
Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý bởi (7 điểm)
sửa nội dung bởi
Nowadays nhé không phải nowaday.

sau khi kiểm tra trên ứng dụng của mình, vò mình còn kém nên lên app kiểm tra.

Bài có 26 câu, 256 từ, 1119 chữ, 5 lỗi chính tả, 17 lỗi ngữ pháp. Còn những lỗi đó là gì thì mình update nói sơ sau

App mình sài là whitesmoke, không biết nó có trên PC không, mà bạn có thể lên kiểm tra trên web mà mình nói ở trên, hay có thể thử web này
https://www.languagetool.org/
0 phiếu
Nhờ các bạn Comment giúp mình bài này nhé:

A car, a television and a fridge are things that many people want to possess in their house. While I accept that there are both benefits and drawbacks of owning these objects, I would argue that the benefits are much more than the drawbacks.

It is obvious that car, television and fridge have negative influences on the environment. The amount of CO2 in the atmosphere all over the world which comes from the emissions of cars increases significantly and this is one of the causes of global warming. On the other hand, television and fridge are high energy-consuming appliances in a house. To have enough energy for every household using them, a lot of energy comes from non-renewable energy which have adverse consequences to the earth.

However, the benefits of owning car, television and fridge are tremendous. The car provides a convenient means of transportation, and it helps boost the globalization all over the world. The television is a must-have appliance which allows everyone gaining knowledge, news and information quickly. For example, many rural areas now have access to up-to-date knowledge about farming and they can innovate and boost the productions of breeds. The fridge is a state-of-the-art innovation which preserve food efficiently and save time for housewives. They do not have to go to the supermarket everyday like before and can have more time taking care of their children.

The modern life changes a lot of consumer behaviour, for example, owning a car, a television and a fridge is essential for everyone. From what I have contended above, I think the advantages are very enormous.
Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý bởi (7 điểm)
Bạn mắc lỗi về dấu câu nhưng không quan trọng, ngoài ra thì bạn chỉ sai có vài lỗi:
Lỗi thứ nhất:energy which have .
Ghi đúng là has hoặc had.
which preserve :ghi đung là preserves hay preserved.
Mấy lỗi khác thì đang phân vân, không biết đúng hay sai
0 phiếu
In modernized society, the advancement of technology has been a controversial issue for many years. People are supposed to possess such conveniences as an expensive car, a broadcasting television, and a modern fridge. While these essentials might give rise to exerting a lot of severely adverse impacts on society, I believe that it would bring more advantages than disadvantages.

On the one hand, owning such extravagances as an expensive car, remote TV, and a modern fridge can result in many drawbacks. Firstly, users are obligatory to pay a big amount of money for purchasing not only their personal needs but also a monthly maintenance cost. For example, a supercar, of which component like a tire, would become out-fashioned and pose a threat to the driver unless it was protected and maintained. Secondly, the exceeding usage of state-of-the-art technology is possible to cause an environment problem, in other words, air pollution. The reason is that a car, the more they drive, the more exhaust fumes are released into the fresh atmosphere, causing carbon footprint causes a catastrophic contamination in air and habitat loss.

On the other hand, it is a widely held that having these high-tech products can make life better. In particular, people can assimilate new knowledge and broaden their horizon because when they watch television daily, they can get access to the up-to-date information available all over the world. Likewise, a car may provide assistance to people traveling; this will translate into a circumstance that people can effortlessly travel a long distance between their home and work. Furthermore, A fridge acts as a machine to keep foods and products stay decent and fresh much longer than usual and prevent them from being spoilt.

In conclusion, as I have discussed there are numerous pros and cons of possessing such essentials. However, in my view, there are more favorable consequences than unfavorable consequences while utilizing them.

Chữa giúp mình để mình tiến bộ nhé, mình cảm ơn nhiều lắm :D
Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý bởi (25 điểm)

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