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Topic: It is generally believed that the Internet is an excellent means of communication but some people suggest it may not be the best place to find information .

DIscuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Chào mọi người, mình muốn gửi bài viết của mình kèm theo chủ đề để mọi người có thể nhận xét về bài viết của mình (cách phát triển ý, lập luận). Mình không thi Ielts nhưng mình muốn rèn luyện kĩ năng viết luận của mình được tốt hơn. Mình rất mong được đón nhận những góp ý của các bạn. Mình cảm ơn!!!

Nowadays, Internet is part of our daily life, widespread from urban to rural. Everyday, we do not stop checking emails and reading newspaper on computers and smartphones. People use the Internet for many purposes: education, communication, manufacturing, and entertainment. It is a good tool to communicate with family and friends with online programs. Nevertheless, it is sometimes argued that Internet is not a best place to find information. In my opinion, Internet will be an effective tool for communication and search for informationif we use it properly.

first of all, Internet make communication easier and less expensive, compared to telephones. With Internet connection, people can download and get access to a lot of interactive programs and applications including Facebook, Skype which are useful for keeping in touch with relatives and friends. desptite the distance. For example, I use Skype to converse with some friends living abroad. By that way, I don't have to spend much money on international calls and i have opportunities to practice English. Moreover, businessmen and teachers and students has high need to use emails for work and study. Academically, a student emails his teacher or his friends to ask about homework without having a formal meeting. 

On the other hand, some people think that Internet is not a reliale source of information. In digital age, huge amount of knowlege from books and printed materials and even oral personal opinions are disseminated online. Obviously, the information may be invalid and cause misunderstandings unless they are justified. Therefore, it is hard for readers to distinguis what is true and what is untrue. Especially, in the scholastic context,  when students write up their thesis and essays, they are more likely to rely on those sources becasue some of them are not availabe in books and they are convenient. This doing can lead to plagirisam. 

In conclusion, Internet enables us to communicate with people around us and look for information quickly and convinently. I think that if we make use of Internet, those 2 strong points are major advantages of Internet .

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Your sentences are well-constructed. Good use of linking words. Your ideas and examples are explained clearly There are a few spelling mistakes though which i think they're just typo.

However in your conclusion, you forgot to mention the negative effects.

What band are you aiming for? I personally think this essay could get a 6.5-7
Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý bởi (14 điểm)

Tips: Thành viên với 10 points trở lên sẽ được sửa bài bởi Team Writing 7.5 :)
Bắt đầu nhận xét ở mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để bắt đầu kiếm point nhé :)

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