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Task 2: Advantages and disadvantages

Topic: The advent of the Internet has made it possible for people to work from home. Do you feel this working arrangement has more advantages or disadvantages? Share your personal example in your essay.

Answer:

The Internet has been developing very fast and becoming one of the most essential tools in everyday life. It even impacts on that more and more people prefer working at home to at an office. However, this essay will show that this modernization has more drawbacks than advantages by analyzing how it influences on the daily routine and average earnings of workers. After that, a reasoned conclusion will be drawn.

Firstly, working at accomodations like own house or dormitory can change the biological clock of a person. For instance, a friend of mine is an amateur author who writes for a local newspaper. She said that she must stay nearly all night to compose short stories and poems and send them to her newspaper office by e-mail because a writer may have full romance and deep moods at night. This means she doesn’t have a normal and healthy schedule in moderation and additionally she have a high chance to get mental disorder. Thus, working from adobe is completely not ideal in some cases.

Secondly, online working does not guarantee stable salary that depends much on productivity and employment frequency the worker has. A freelancer’s job plays a good example here. Everyone knows that he is not always employed to do something, especially high-salary employments. As a result, sometimes he has a lot of money and sometimes he is as poor as a church mous and cannot assume responsibility for himself and his family. Therefore, having no concrete office seems to be very disadvantageous.

The two illustrations ablove proved that electronically connected work at home has many minuses, typically results in regular rhythm and the amount an employee can earn. For this reason, it is clearly supported this arrangement has more disadvantages than benefits. So, a person should consider each respect carefully before decideing whether to choose an Internet-located job.

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã hỏi 7 Tháng 3, 2016 trong advantages,disadvantages bởi leha.anh (4 điểm)
share bài về Wall để xem lại ===>

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4 góp ý

0 phiếu

The Internet has been developing very fast and becoming one of the most essential tools in everyday life. It even impacts on that more and more people prefer working at home to at an office. (the way people work these days).However, this essay will show that this modernization has more drawbacks than advantages by analyzing how it influences on the daily routine and average earnings of workers. After that, a reasoned reasonable conclusion will be drawn.

Firstly, working at accomodations home like ,such as own house(s) or dormitory can change the biological clock of people a person. For instance, a friend of mine is an amateur author who writes for a local newspaper. She said that she must stay nearly all a whole night to compose short stories and poems and send them (which are sent) to her newspaper office by e-mail because a writer may have full romance and deep moods at night(s). This means she doesn’t does not have a normal and healthy schedule in moderation and  .Additionally she have a high chance to get mental disorder. ( cô ấy có cơ hội để được bệnh ak :d) Thus, working from adobe is completely not ideal in some cases.(?)

Secondly, online working does not guarantee stable salary(ies) that depends much on productivity and employment frequency the worker has. A freelancer’s job plays a good example here. Everyone knows that he is not always employed to do implement affairs, especially high-salary employments. As a result, sometimes he has a lot of money and sometimes , while he is as poor as a church mous and can not assume responsibility for himself and his family. Therefore, having no concrete office? seems to be very disadvantageous.

The two illustrations ablove proved that electronically connected work at home has many minuses, typically results in regular rhythm and the amount an employees can earn. For this reason, it is clearly supported this arrangement has more disadvantages than benefits. So, a person should consider each respect carefully before decideing whether to choose an Internet-located job.

 

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý 17 Tháng 3, 2016 bởi Truong An (27 điểm)
chỗ "Chance to get mental disorder" mình thấy trong 1 đề TOEFL mình từng được làm có cụm này mà @@ :v

Btw, nhận xét của bạn thật sự rất chi tiết và nó giúp mình rất nhiều. Bạn có thể nhận xét các bài viếtkhác của mình nữa không? Cảm ơn bạn rất nhiều!! Đừng quên cho band điểm nữa nhé!!!!!

 

Goognight!
0 phiếu

The Internet has been developing very fast and becoming one of the most essential tools in everyday life. It even impacts on that more and more people prefer working at home to at an office. However, this essay will show that this modernization has more drawbacks than advantages by analyzing how it influences on the daily routine and average earnings of workers. After that, a reasoned conclusion will be drawn.

Firstly, working at accomodations home like our own house or dormitory can change the biological clock of a person. For instance, a friend of mine is an amateur author who writes for a local newspaper. She said that she must stay nearly all night to compose short stories and poems and send them to her newspaper office by e-mail because a writer may have full romance and deep moods at night. This means she doesn’t have a normal and healthy schedule in moderation and additionally consequently she is likely to have a higher chance to get mental disorder. Thus, working from adobe is ? ( what do you mean by working from adobe )completely not ideal in some cases (Trong ielts writing task2 chúng ta ko nên dùng example mà là personal case, instead bạn có thể đưa ra ví dụ mang tính chất chung chung mang tính chất đại diện)

Secondly, online working does not guarantee stable salary that depends much on productivity and employment frequency the worker has. A freelancer’s job plays a good example here. Everyone knows that he is not always employed to do something, especially high-salary  highly paid employments. As a result, sometimes he has can/may earn  a lot of money and sometimes he is as poor as a church mouse and cannot assume responsibility for himself and his family. Therefore, having no concrete office seems to be very disadvantageous.

( ở bài này bạn làm là one side argument, vây nên hãy cố có ít nhất 3 ý để phân tích nhé. 2 ý thì hơi ít. VD bạn có thể thêm là work- at- home jobs prevent communication and interaction with colleagues and lack of organizational lifestyle/culture  etc.,

The two illustrations ablove proved that electronically connected work at home has many may lead to several minuses ( bạn mới nêu được 2 advantages of work at home jobs vì vậy đến conclusion bạn đừng dùng many ) ,which typically results in regular rhythm and the  effect the amounts an employee can earn. For this reason, it is clearly supported this arrangement has more disadvantages than benefits. So, a person should consider each respect aspect carefully before decideing whether to choose an Internet-located job.

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý 27 Tháng 3, 2016 bởi Lizzie90 (93 điểm)
Thank you! It helps me a lot.

By the way can you give me a total bandscore?
0 phiếu
You should have at least 3 body paragraphs. If you cannot think of any ideas to support your argument, you should write a rebuttal paragraph to strengthen your essay. A rebuttal paragraph is a paragraph that shows that you acknowledge the opposite point, but it is still more sagacious to support your point.

Hope that I can help.

http://chuawritingmienphi.com/4754/task-2-advantages-and-disadvantages?show=4835#c4835
Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý 2 Tháng 9, 2016 bởi danielletrann (13 điểm)
0 phiếu

Chào bạn, mình xin được góp ý bài viết của bạn như sau:

The Internet has been developing very fast and becoming one of the most essential tools in everyday life. It even impacts on [phrasal verb này mình nghĩ thay bằng “makes an impact on” sẽ bớt gây tranh cãi hơn] that [‘impacts on that + clause’: cấu trúc này hơi lạ với mình] more and more people prefer working at home to [‘working’ được them vào sẽ khiến câu văn parallel hơn] at an office. However, this essay will show that this modernization has more drawbacks than advantages by analyzing how it influences on [bỏ on] the daily routine and average earnings of workers. After that, a reasoned conclusion will be drawn. [câu này mình nghĩ không cần thiết]

Firstly, working at accomodations like own house or dormitory can change the biological clock of a person [working at one’s accommodation can change his or her biological clock] For instance, a friend of mine is an amateur author [reporter] who writes for a local newspaper. She said that she must stay nearly all night to compose short stories and poems and send them to her newspaper office by [via] e-mail because a writer may have full romance and deep moods at night. This means she doesn’t [avoid abbreviation] have a normal and healthy schedule in moderation and additionally she have a high chance to get mental disorder. Thus, working from adobe [từ này khiến mình hơi confused] is completely not ideal in some cases.

Secondly, online working does not guarantee stable salary that depends much on productivity and employment frequency [productivity and efficiency] the worker has. A freelancer’s job plays a good example here. Everyone knows that he is not always employed to do something, especially high-salary employments. As a result, sometimes he has a lot of money and sometimes he is as poor as a church mouse and cannot assume responsibility for [take good care of] himself and his family. Therefore, having no concrete office seems to be very disadvantageous.

The two illustrations above proved that electronically connected work at home has many minuses, typically results in [which typically affects] regular rhythm and the amount an employee can earn. For this reason, it is clearly supported this arrangement has more disadvantages than benefits. So, a person should consider each respect carefully before deciding whether to choose an Internet-located job.
 



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Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý 5 Tháng 9, 2016 bởi Trịnh Nhật Tuân (41 điểm)

Tips: Thành viên với 10 points trở lên sẽ được sửa bài bởi Team Writing 7.5 :)
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