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The bar chart compares the percentage of people who had access to the Internet from four different places between 1998 and 2004.

It is clear that home was by far the most popular location of connecting Internet. The proportion of users gaining access to the Internet at work and colleges saw the similar trend of general decline while the figures for the library rose over the period shown.

In 1998, around 53% people in the survey connected Internet at home, which was double the number of users who had access to the Internet at work places. The figure for college categories was exactly 20% whereas the proportion of people using Internet at library reached a half of that amount. Just two years later, there was a decline in people accessing to the Internet at home to only 45%, which was the lowest point of this categories over the 6- year period.

Between 1998 and 2004, the number of people connecting Internet at home rose significantly to a peak of around 55% in 2004. The figures for work places and college remained at the same level as they were in 1998 before falling to 10% and 18% respectively. The percentage of users accessing Internet at library rose to approximately 15% before reaching around 13% in 2002 and remained stable for the rest of the period.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The bar chart compares  /illustrates the percentage of people who had access to the Internet from four different places between 1998 and 2004.

It is clear /obvious that home was by far the most popular location of connecting Internet. The proportion of users gaining access to the Internet at work and colleges saw the similar trend of general decline while the figures for the library rose over the period shown.

In 1998, around 53% people in the survey connected Internet at home, which was double the number of users who had access to the Internet at work places. The figure for college categories was exactly 20% whereas the proportion of people using Internet at library reached a half of that amount. Just two years later, there was a decline in people accessing to the Internet at home to at only 45%, which was the lowest point of this categories over the 6- year period.

Between 1998 and 2004, the number of people connecting Internet at home rose significantly to a peak of around 55% in 2004. The figures for work places and college remained at the same level as they were in 1998 before falling to 10% and 18% respectively. The percentage of users accessing Internet at library rose to approximately 15% before reaching around 13% in 2002 and remained stable for the rest of the period.

Cậu nên paraphrase các cụm từ thì điểm sẽ cao hơn và đọc sẽ hay hơn

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý bởi (12 điểm)
Cảm ơn bạn rất nhiều nhé :D
cho mình hỏi bài này mình được khoảng mấy chấm với, hihi?
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The bar chart compares the percentage of people who had access to the Internet from [W1] four different places between 1998 and 2004.

It is clear that home was by far the most popular location of connecting Internet[W2] . The proportion of users gaining[W3]  access to the Internet at work and colleges saw the similar trend[W4]  of general decline while the figures for the library[W5]  rose over the period shown.

In 1998, around 53% people in the survey connected Internet at home, which was double the number of users who had access to the Internet at work places[W6] . The figure for college categories[W7]  was exactly 20% whereas the proportion of people using Internet at library reached a half of that amount. Just two years later[W8] , there was a decline in people accessing to the Internet at home [W9] to only 45%[W10] , which was the lowest point of this categories over the 6- year period.

Between 1998 and 2004[W11] , the number of people connecting Internet at home rose significantly to a peak of around 55% in 2004[W12] . The figures for work places and college[W13]  remained at the same level as they were in 1998 before falling to 10% and 18% respectively. The percentage of users accessing Internet at library rose to approximately 15% before reaching around 13% in 2002 and remained stable for the rest of the period.

 


 [W1]Grammar error:  => in

 [W2]Expression suggestion: in term of connecting Internet

 [W3]Expression error: just eliminate ‘ gaining’

 [W4]Expression error: which are general declining trends

 [W5]Expression error: it is totally unclear=> the figure for accessing Internet at library

 [W6]Expression suggestion: the survey showed that around 53 %people enter to Internet at home. The figure was double, compared to number of users access Internet at work space

 

 [W7]Expression error: it is totally unclear

 [W8]Expression suggestion: Over the following two years

 [W9]Expression suggestion: In term of people access to Internet at home

 [W10]Grammer error:  correct ‘  around 45percent ‘

 [W11]Expression suggestion: From 1998 to 2004

 [W12]Expression suggestion: The number of people connected to Internet at home rose significantly, to peak of around”

NOTE: PEAK IN THIS SENTENCE IS VERB, NEED TO ELIMINATE ‘ a’

 [W13]Expression error: it is totally unclear

 

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