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Television is dangerous because it destroys the family tie and community spirit. It is said by some that television absorbs so much people’s time that they have no time to talk to each other. do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion

Nobody can deny the fact that television is seemingly indispensable in our daily life. It is not only being the effective information provider but also becoming the doctor to cure our stress. However, some people said that television is dangerous because it demolishes the family tie and community spirit because people spend a lot of time on watching television rather than talking to each other. In my perspective, I agree with this statement up to a point, I find television is not detrimental for the relationship of family members if people do not over depend on this media.


One of the first reason that television absorbs so much time of people so that they have lack of time to make conversation to each other is that the regulation of some families when watching television. To be clear, in some families, members are forced to be silent while watching the box. If they talk while watching television, they can not understand the context of one programme. Besides, they will bother the others if they are eager to watch a favourite channel. Another thing to note is that due to the radical change in modern society. For instance, nowadays parents busy going outside for earning living and have no time to take care of their children. Consequently, when staying alone at home, children will glue to television screen with the vivid motion pictures and forget to communicate with their parents if their parents watch television with them. As the result, television will destroy the spirit and solidarity of family members.

However, in my opinion, family members can create the tight relationship while watching television if they really want to achieve it. To be more specific, while watching an educational programme, parents can exchange their views about the method to educate their children with the acceptable volume. This leads to make more sympathy to each other. Finally, people can cook with their neighborhood base on the menu of cooking programme on television. This is the efficient way to make solidarity with their community.

In conclusion, in my opinion, there is some truth in the viewpoint that television is harmful to family tie and community spirit. However, if people know to combine between watch television and discuss their views in a suitable way, they will improve family relationship and community spirit well.

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Mình xin phép đưa bài của bạn lên website cá nhân nhé. Coi như là có đi có lại vậy. 

 

Sau đây là phần mình sửa:

It is true that TV has several negative impacts on family relationships and neighborliness. Some people even argue that there has been a lack of quality family time as TV is becoming increasingly indispensable. I compeletely agree that…

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cảm ơn bạn rất nhiều vì đã dành thời gian nhận xét cho essay của mình, những nhận xét rất sâu sắc c smiley, mình sẽ chỉnh lại để hoàn thiện hơn.  Thân!

0 phiếu

 

"One of the first reason that television absorbs so much time of people so that they have lack of time to make conversation to each other is that the regulation of some families when watching television."

=> this might be too long/Regulation does not fit in the context, you can use rules instead/they lack of time, not have + lack

"to be clear" can be changed to "in other words"

"Another thing to note is that due to the radical change in modern society" - this sentence is incomplete unless you get rid out "due to"

parents busy going outside for earning living can be chnaged to parents are busy earning their living

glue is not context-appropriate. Use stick their eyes

You forgot to mention about positive effects in your conclusion.

 

Hope this helps

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Bắt đầu nhận xét ở mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để bắt đầu kiếm point nhé :)

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