Bài của bạn có nhiều ý tưởng hay, cấu trúc rõ ràng. Tuy vậy ngôn ngữ & cấu trúc ngữ pháp câu hơi đơn giản. Trong academic writing không nên dùng etc và `we` (vì như thế đánh đồng người viết & người đọc, làm bài viết mất tính thuyết phục). Phần mở bài & kết luận hơi sơ sài. Bạn nên sử dụng nhiều ví dụ hơn để bài viết thêm phong phú. Đoạn thứ 3 nói mỗi về writing, bỏ qua speaking.
Chúc bạn may mắn!
The Internet, TV and radio have transformed the way modern humans obtain information. However, in this essay, I argue that reading books remains the most important form of knowledge gathering.
Firstly, reading books helps us widens our knowledge. Vietnamese has a proverb which means that we should travel to broad our understanding, if we always stay at home with our mother, we will never be wise. Books enable readers to travel to foreign lands without spending money. We just lie on the couch and comprehensive what is happening in the books. Additionally, people can easily gain information about fields that they are interested in through reading books. A biologist who is passionate about archeology could easily pick up a book and satisfy his thirst for knowledge in no time, for example. Thanks to the wide range of books such as science, literature, astronomy, archeology, biology, physics, etc. we can get information focus on our own fields as well as the others. The more books one reads, the more he knows.
Secondly, reading books improves one's writing and speaking skills. For instance, people could be influenced by the writing style of their favorite authors. Especially, when we read For a language learner, reading foreign literature not only provides them with knowledge about the relevant culture, but also gives them a chance to learn new vocabulary, we will not only know more about that country but also have chance to improve our reading skill, learn new words which can be used to better our essays. (you mentioned 'speaking' as well. Where is 'speaking' mentioned in this paragraph?)
Last but not least, reading books is a also a form of entertainment. It presents an alternative option to those who elect not to visit crowded places on the weekend and just want some quiet time for themselves. They like quiet atmosphere and do not want to disturb anybody so they consider books as their close friend. They meet their stories and their lives in books; they feel extremely sympathetic towards the characters’ situations. Reading books makes them happy and relieves their stress.
In conclusion, reading books is so important and has many benefits. It gives us knowledge and brings us happiness. Therefore, everyone should be encouraged to read books as much as possible.