Your essay is good. It is clear that you have clocked in quite a substantial number of hours to practice. The structure is clear and your ideas are clearly communicated.
The only problem I have is the language - it is too flowery and the sentence structure is sometimes unnecessarily complicated. It feels 'forced' and a bit tiring at times. This essay is good for IELTS. If you want to pursue higher education overseas, do work on your writing style and make sure you have a bit of flow in your tone. Plus the conclusion is too short and really doesn't do the entire essay justice. Hope my feedback helps. Below is your essay (I was a bit ruthless when editing it).
It is widely acknowledged that with the rise of the internet, distance learning has enjoyed widespread popularity throughout the world in recent years. Some people argue that internet-based learning can be a perfect substitute for traditional classes. However I strongly believe that real school (so online learning is 'fake'? Find a better word for this) is still a key component for a well-rounded education / educational environment and nothing (avoid using absolute form) can take the place of this form in future.
One of the reasons why teaching in class would not be obsolete because it is the best way to stimulate intellectual and physical development of students. First of all, it is undisputable that when students listen to and talk to their teachers directly, they will be more motivated and learn the materials with ease. For instance, when a student has difficulty solving an exercise or writing an assignment, his instructor could provide him with can give them persuasive an explanation immediately, allowing him to move forward swiftly and thus study will be smoother and speedier. By being in the classroom and interacting with classmates, students could exchange and discuss their ideas discuss together in order to come up with the best solutions to problems that they are assigned. It is no exaggeration to state that real classes are sites for Students could consolidate their know-how (inappropriate use of word here) and sharpen essentially social skills such as communication or their interpersonal skill. There is no doubt that these benefits are limited in distance learning.
Admittedly, online education has been a noted advance of humans which allows the public to access prestigious courses in a different country from prestigious universities and saves their commuting time as taking part in courses without commuting to school campus on the daily basis. Nevertheless, one should consider the fact that virtual classes depend heavily on the internet and computers, both of which are not always available, particularly in remote areas. One salient example for this is In underdeveloped African nations in Africa, in many regions of these countries where the internet is not accessible and where very few citizens can afford a computer and have access to the Internet, class-based learning are the most feasible method for them to be educated and exposed to the knowledge treasure. Moreover, because of the lack of interaction in online courses, teachers are unlikely to keep track of learners' progress, aware of existing problems in studying progress and guarantee the amount of knowledge participants acquire
In conclusion, on account of the aforementioned advantages, traditional class-based learning is indispensable to our society and virtual courses which have certain drawbacks cannot completely displace real schools.