ip.chuawriting
Post bài mới
Thành viên với 100 points trở lên sẽ được hổ trợ discount 40% khóa IELTS PREMIUM 6.5 từ IELTS Planet - Học IELTS Online.
Bắt đầu nhận xét ở mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để bắt đầu kiếm point nhé.

2.3k Bài viết

3.3k Góp ý

2k bình luận

26.3k thành viên

First of all, I’m agree that learn another countries’ cultures through the internet, television or news are some quite modern and fast type of learning. However, I am still thinking that we will learn it better if we experience it ourselves.

On one hand, people nowadays want to learn other countries’ cultures from books, films or the internet because learning from those resources are much more time-saving than from traveling, and the learners don’t have to pay travel consumption such as plane ticket or train ticket. Now, one just sits and looks for the information by reading, watching or hearing news.

On the other hand, many people choose to go oversea in order to experience new cultures, and when they do, individuals have chance to know a lot ò fascinating things in person. For example, some students study abroad not only to have a better education environment, but also to learn about the tradition of the local. People might easily find that information on other sources, but real event still much more interesting than reading news.

In conclusion, I believe that we could learn cultures from various resources, but it’s the best to experience it ourselves.
Rating: 3.80
đã hỏi trong Opinion bởi (0 điểm)
share bài về Wall để xem lại ===>

Xin vui lòng đăng nhập hoặc đăng ký để góp ý bài viết này.

2 góp ý

0 phiếu

Hi bạn,

Mình xin sửa một số lỗi như sau:

First of all, I’m agree (I agree) that learn (learning) another countries’ cultures through the internet, television or news are some quite modern and fast type (types) of learning. However, I am still thinking that we will learn it better if we experience it (them: vì thay thế cho cultures) ourselves.

On one hand, people nowadays want to learn other countries’ cultures from books, films or the internet because learning from those resources are much more time-saving than from traveling, and the learners don’t have to pay travel consumption (dùng expense: chi phí thì mình nghĩ hợp hơn) such as plane ticket or train First of all, I’m agree that learn another countries’ cultures through the internet, television or news are some quite modern and fast type of learning. However, I am still thinking that we will learn it better if we experience it ourselves.

On one hand, people nowadays want to learn other countries’ cultures from books, films or the internet because learning from those resources are much more time-saving than from traveling, and the learners don’t have to pay travel consumption such as plane ticket or train ticket (tickets). Now, one just sits and looks for the information by reading, watching or hearing news.

On the other hand, many people choose to go oversea in order to experience new cultures, and when they do, individuals have chance to know a lot ò fascinating things in person. For example, some students study abroad not only to have a better education environment, but also to learn about the tradition of the local (locals) (trong ý này mình nghĩ bạn nên thêm ý cho phong phú và cụ thể hơn. ví dụ: abroaders can enjoy real traditional cuisine, try on national clothes, and even view how differently people in various countries behave, even just in greeting, etc). People might easily find that information on other sources, but real event still much more interesting than reading news.

In conclusion, I believe that we could learn cultures from various resources, but it’s the best to experience it ourselves.. Now, one just sits and looks for the information by reading, watching or hearing news.

P.S: mình chỉ học chủ yếu về TOEFL nên mình thấy cách viết essay của bạn hơi khác, có lẽ là của IELTS nên mình chỉ đưa ra được 1 số ý như vậy thôi.

Rating: 4.00
đã góp ý bởi (28 điểm)
0 phiếu
1. First of all, I’m agree that learn another countries’ cultures through the internet, television or news are some quite modern and fast type of learning.
Câu đầu tiên trong câu intro k phâỉ là first of all, với lại bạn cững chưa paraphrase lại câu đề bài.
2.  However, I am still thinking that we will learn it better if we experience it ourselves.
câu này cũng chưa rõ ràng lắm về mặt câu cú, và bạ cũng chưa đưa ra quan điểm ủng họ bên nào.
3. On the  one hand, Nowadays, people nowadays want to learn other countries’ cultures from books, films or the internet because learning from those resources are much more time-saving than from traveling, bạn xem lại câu này nhe độc hơi tối nghĩa.
Ở đây bạn đưa ra ý kiến nhưng lại không đưa ra câu giải thích cho íea cua mình.
4.  the learners (reader) don’t have hace not to pay travel consumption fees such as plane ticket or train ticket. Now, one just sits and looks for the information by reading, watching or hearing news.
câu này rất tối nghĩa và rất lang mang k rõ bạn muốn nói cái gi!
Mình chỉ phân tích 1 đoạn để thấy bài viết nay chi tam 3 - 4 thui nên mình khong góp ý nua!
Chúc bạn học tốt

 

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý bởi (21 điểm)

Tips: Thành viên với 10 points trở lên sẽ được sửa bài bởi Team Writing 7.5 :)
Bắt đầu nhận xét ở mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để bắt đầu kiếm point nhé :)

Tham khảo các bài viết tương tự

...