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Paragraph about Advantages of using Mobile phone

In the age of advanced technology, the mobile phone is one of the most widely used technologies and it plays an important role in our lives. The mobile phone will certainly bring about a lot of advantages. First of all, the cell phone is considered the quickest means of communication in our daily life, hence we can contact easily with our friends and our relative wherever by calling or sending messages. Second, it is also a means od entertainment for people. For instance, we can listen to music and play games on mobile phone. Moreover, by using the latest apps for smartphone, we can access to the Internet to watch film and check out profile in social networks and update our status wherevere we are. Final, if we have a smartphone in hand, out studying becomes more effective such as look up dictionary, find out many source of reference on internet which is useful for studying. In conclusion, it could be said that mobile phone is an indispensable part in our life.
Rating: 6.18
đã hỏi 24 Tháng 6, 2015 trong Other bởi Thu Bi Gem (0 điểm)
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4 góp ý

0 phiếu
In the age of advanced technology, the mobile phone is one of the most widely used technologies and it plays an important role in our lives. The mobile phone will certainly bring about a lot of advantages. First of all, the cell phone is considered the quickest means of communication in our daily life, hence we can contact easily with our friends and our relative wherever by calling or sending messages. Second, it is also a means od of entertainment for people. For instance, we can listen to music and play games on mobile phone. Moreover, by using the latest apps for smartphone, we can access to the Internet to watch film and check out profile in social networks and update our status wherevere we are. Final, if we have a smartphone in hand, out studying becomes more effective such as look up dictionary, find out many sources of reference on internet which is useful for studying. In conclusion, it could be said that mobile phone is an indispensable part in our life.
 

 

Rating: 7.55
đã góp ý 24 Tháng 6, 2015 bởi hangvt99 (23 điểm)
0 phiếu

It is better if you have at least one sentence to support the idea that the mobile phone is one of the most widely used technologies.

The mobile phone will certainly bring about a lot of advantages.

"Bring about" is used in the speech rather than in academic writing.

hence we can contact easily with our friends and our relative

When the word, "contact", is used as a verb, you shoud use the adverb immediately or directly.

hence it is easy to directly contact with our friends and relative

The word, "can", is used three times in your paragraph. Perhaps, this shows you lack ability to express that verb under the eyes of examiners.

 

 

Rating: 8.60
đã góp ý 25 Tháng 6, 2015 bởi marioshop (64 điểm)
+3 phiếu

In the age of advanced technology, the mobile phone is one of the most widely used technologies and it plays an important role in our lives. The mobile phones will certainly bring about a lot of advantages. benefits (bn cũng có thể dùng advantages(lợi thế)nhưng mink nghĩ benefits(lợi ích) thì hay hơn) .First of all, the cell phone is considered the quickest means of communication in our daily life, hence we can contact easily with our friends and our relative wherever by calling or sending messages. Second, it is also a means od of entertainment for people. For instance, we can listen to music and play games on mobile phone. Moreover, by using the latest apps for smartphone, we can access to the Internet to watch film and check out profile in social networks and update our status wherevere wherever we are. Final, if we have a smartphone in hand, out studying becomes more effective such as look up dictionary, find out many source of reference on internet which is useful for studying. In conclusion, it could be said that mobile phone is an indispensable part in our life.

bn có thể thay our-we bằng I-my 

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý 27 Tháng 6, 2016 bởi truclamyt (147 điểm)
0 phiếu

In the age of advanced technology, the mobile phone is one of the most widely used technologies as it  brings to us a lot of advantages. First of all, the cell phone is considered the fastest means of communication in our daily life. Hence, we can easily contact  with our friends and our relatives wherever by making a phone call or sending messages. Second, it is also a means od of entertainment for people. For instance, we can listen to music and play games on mobile phones. Moreover, by using the latest apps on smartphones, we can have access to the Internet in order to watch films and check out profiles in social networks and update our status. Finally, if we own a smartphone , our studying will becomes more effective thanks to looking up words in dictionary, finding out many sources of references on the Internet which is useful for studying. In conclusion, mobile phone plays an essential role in making our life more comfortable.

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý 3 Tháng 12 bởi Lê Hải Nam Anh (12 điểm)

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