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write a paragraph about the free time activity you like best

Normally, when I have free time, I usually play sports, watch tv, surf webs and read books. After learnt stressful hours , activities such as help me entertain and relax. And playing sport is the free time activity I like best. Firstly, I like to play sport because it is really a healthy activity . You knows, sports provides many benefits for our health. It can improve health and help us to be strong. Addition, sport help us increase in statue and have a excellent body. Secondly, I like sports. I fell as dynamic as possible. Moreover, It make me full of energy. Lastly, well, It is what I enjoy most when playing sports. That is sports can help us take up the community. We will knows a lot of peoples because of having the same interests in play sport. True me, I was acquainting a lot of friend when I play sports. In short, I like to play sport because it provides many benefits for me. And you? What are activities you like best in your free time?

Rating: 6.22
đã hỏi 30 Tháng 5, 2015 trong Other bởi huyenthuatchisu (0 điểm)
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7 góp ý

+2 phiếu

Normally, when I have free time, I usually play sports, watch tv, surf webs and read books. After learnt (learning nhé bạn,sau after là v_ing) stressful hours , activities such as(such activities) help me entertain and relax. And playing sport is the free time activity I like best. Firstly, I like to play sport because it is reallyhealthy activity . You knows(know chứ angel), sports provides(provide bạn nhé) many benefits for our health(lặp vế dưới). It can improve(s) (our)health and help us to be strong. Addition(in addition), sport help (lặp) us increase in statue(t ko hiểu nó là cái gì) and have a excellent body. Secondly, I like sports. I fell (feel ???) as dynamic as possible. Moreover, It make(s) me full of energy. Lastly, well, It is what I enjoy most when playing sports. That is sports which can help us take up the community. We will knows a lot of peoples because of having the same interests in playing sport(s). True trust me, I was acquainting have got acquainted with a lot of friends when I play sports. In short, I like to play sport(s) because it provides many benefits for me. And you? What are activities you like best in your free time? => đây ko phải bài speaking

 

bài viết của bạn chưa có câu chủ đề và kết luận phù hợp,sai rất nhiều lỗi grammar đáng tiếc và lỗi lặp từ +1soos lỗi sử dụng từ vựng.chúc b học tốt.thân :)

 

 

Rating: 6.34
đã góp ý 31 Tháng 5, 2015 bởi đỗ minh trường (3 điểm)
+1 phiếu

Normally, when I have free time, I usually play sports, watch tv, surf webs and read books. After learnt stressful hours , activities such as help me entertain and relax. And playing sport is the free time activity I like best.

(topic sentence thì chỉ nên gói gọn trong một câu thôi, cố gắng thêm vào vài tính từ để có thể dễ diễn tả và có hướng đi hơn trong các câu building về sau)

Các lỗi từ vựng + ngữ pháp thì ban ở trên đã nói trước rồi nên mình sẽ không nhắc lại ha. Bài viết của bạn là speaking đúng hơn là một bài writing. Không nên đặt các câu hỏi trong 1 bài writing bạn nhé. Nên kết hợp nhiều dạng cấu trúc câu với nhau. Bạn còn sử dụng các câu đơn nhiều quá. Nên định hướng tốt cho bài viết, đừng viết dài dòng lan man. Chúc bạn học tốt

Rating: 5.66
đã góp ý 2 Tháng 6, 2015 bởi windyy2010 (5 điểm)
+1 phiếu

"And you?"=>>>informal, ko nê dùng trong văn viết nhóe!

"Normally, when I have free time, I usually play sports, watch tv, surf webs and read books. After learnt stressful hours , activities such as help me entertain and relax. And playing sport is the free time activity I like best. Firstly, I like to play sport because it is really a healthy activity . You knows, sports provides many benefits for our health. It can improve health and help us to be strong. Addition, sport help us increase in statue and have a excellent body. Secondly, I like sports. I fell as dynamic as possible. Moreover, It make me full of energy. Lastly, well, It is what I enjoy most when playing sports. That is sports can help us take up the community. We will knows a lot of peoples because of having the same interests in play sport. True me, I was acquainting a lot of friend when I play sports. In short, I like to play sport because it provides many benefits for me. And you? What are activities you like best in your free time?"

Rating: 6.32
đã góp ý 1 Tháng 7, 2015 bởi Hạ Đan (7 điểm)
+3 phiếu

Normally, when I have free time, I usually play sports, watch tv, surf webs and read books. After learnt learning stressful hours, activities such as such activities help me entertain and relax. And playing sport is the free time activity I like best. Firstly, I like to play sport because it is really a healthy activity. You knows know, sports provides provide many benefits for our health. It can improve health and help us to be strong. Addition In the addition, sport help us increase in statue and have a excellent body. Secondly, I like sports. I fell feel as dynamic as possible. Moreover, It make makes me full of energy. Lastly, well, It is what I enjoy most when playing sports. That is sports can help us take up the community. We will knows a lot of peoples people because of having the same interests in playing sports. True Trust me, I was acquainting a lot of friends when I play sports. In short, I like to play sport because it provides many benefits for me. And you? What are activities do you like best in your free time?

 

 

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý 26 Tháng 6, 2016 bởi truclamyt (147 điểm)

Normally, when I have free time, I usually play sports, watch tv, surf webs and read books. After learnt learning stressful hours, activities such as such activities help me entertain and relax. And playing sport is the free time activity I like best. Firstly, I like to play sport because it is really a healthy activity. You knows know, sports provides provide many benefits for our health. It can improve health and help us to be strong. Addition In the addition, sport help us increase in statue stature and have a excellent body. Secondly, I like sports. I fell feel as dynamic as possible. Moreover, It make makes me full of energy. Lastly, well, It is what I enjoy most when playing sports. That is sports can help us take up the community. We will knows a lot of peoples people because of having the same interests in playing sports. True Trust me, I was acquainting a lot of friends when I play sports. In short, I like to play sport because it provides many benefits for me. And you? What are activities do you like best in your free time?

P/s: Mình không có ý gì khác, chỉ là ở dòng 8, phải chuyển statue thành stature

 

0 phiếu

theo mình thì bạn nên chỉnh sửa những lỗi sau: 

After learnt stressful hours => After hours of stressful learning

And playing sport is the free time activity =>the leisure activity

Addition => In addition

I was acquainting a lot of friend when I play sports => I have made a lot of friends

Chúc bạn học tốt!

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý 26 Tháng 6, 2016 bởi Jen Ny (4 điểm)
0 phiếu

theo mình thì bạn nên chỉnh sửa những lỗi sau: 

After learnt stressful hours => After hours of stressful learning

And playing sport is the free time activity =>the leisure activity

Addition => In addition

I was acquainting a lot of friend when I play sports => I have made a lot of friends

Chúc bạn học tốt!

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý 26 Tháng 6, 2016 bởi Khánh Như (4 điểm)
0 phiếu

Normally, when I have free time, I usually play sports, watch TV, surf webs internet (''lướt web'' là người Việt đặc trưng bạn nhé) and read books. After learnt learning (After + V_ing) stressful hours , activities such as such activities help me entertain and relax. And Playing sport is the free time activity I like best. Firstly, I like to play sport because it is really a healthy activity . You knows know (thì hiện tại đơn, không phải ngôi thứ 3 số ít đâu), sports provides provide (thì hiện tại đơn, không phải ngôi thứ 3 số ít đâu) many benefits for our health. It can improve health and help us to be strong. Addition In addition, sport help us increase in statue stature and have a an excellent body. Secondly, I like sports. I fell fell as dynamic as possible. Moreover, It makes me full of energy. Lastly, well, It is what I enjoy most when playing sports. That is sports which can help us take up the community. We will knows a lot of peoples because of who having the same interests in playing sports. True Truth me, I was acquainting have got acquainting with (có lẽ vậy) a lot of friends when I play sports. In short, I like to play sports because it provides many benefits for me. And you? What are activities you like best in your free time? (Các từ ngữ như trên hoặc "Hello everybody/Welcome you" đều không nên xuất hiện ở bài viết, vì đây là những từ đặc trưng ở bài nói, bài đọc chứ không phải trong a paragraph, bạn ạ)

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý 19 Tháng 3 bởi Soi Mói Vien (15 điểm)

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