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The map provided illustrates 2 possible sites for a supermarket which is planned to be built at Garlsdon Town.

The first potential place (S1) lies in the countryside, so it is very convenient for residents from Garlsdon and neighborhoods to come shopping. Firstly, this area is close to railway, therefore it can attract people who travel by train to come here, especially residents from Cransdon. Secondly, main road leads to Hindon town and Brandon town also pass by S1, that is easy for everyone who from 2 towns to visit S1 by car. Finally, S1 situates in countryside with a lot of car parking.

In contrast, the second possible place (S2) is in the town center with many benefits for local residents. However, this area is no traffic zone, so it is fairly inconvenient for people from towns around Garlsdon. They can come here by train or car, but it is very difficult to find place to park.

Overall, 2 potential sites have their own advantages, but to satisfy customers from Hindon, Garlsdon and Cransdon, the out-of-town site (S1) is the best choice.
Rating: 3.75
đã hỏi trong Maps bởi (5 điểm)
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The map provided illustrates two2 possible sites for a supermarket which is planned to be built at Garlsdon Town.

The first potential place (S1) lies in the countryside, so it is very convenient for residents from Garlsdon and neighborhoods to come shopping. Firstly, this area is close to the railway, therefore it can attract people who travel by train to come here, especially residents from Cransdon. Secondly,  the main road leads to Hindon town and Brandon town, and also passes by S1, that so itis easy for everyone who is from the two2 towns to visit S1 by car. Finally, S1 is situateds in the countryside with a lot of car parking.

In contrast, the second possible place (S2) is in the town center with many benefits for local residents. However, this area is a no traffic zone, so it is fairly inconvenient for people from towns around Garlsdon. They can come here by train or car, but it is very difficult to find places to park.

Overall, the 2two potential sites have their own advantages, but to satisfy customers from Hindon, Garlsdon and Cransdon, the out-of-town site (S1) is the best choice.

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý bởi (76 điểm)

Góp ý:

-          Task achievement: 9

-          Coherence and cohesion: 8

-          Lexical resource: 7

-          Grammatical range and accuracy: 7

Bài viết lưu ý không được dùng số trong bài viết và phải thay bằng chữ. Ngoài ra, cần lưu ý chia bi động trong câu và dùng mạo từ the.

Firstly, this area is close to the railway, therefore it can attract people who travel by train to come here, especially residents from Cransdon. Secondly, the main road leads to Hindon town and Brandon town, and also passes by S1, so it is easy for everyone who is from the two town to visit S1 by car.


Tips: Thành viên với 10 points trở lên sẽ được sửa bài bởi Team Writing 7.5 :)
Bắt đầu nhận xét ở mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để bắt đầu kiếm point nhé :)

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