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Have money. House or business

Whether choosing house or bulding a startup after having a lot of money has raised a hotly debatedtopic for disscussion. Some people think they should build a business, however, others consider to have a house immediately. In my opinion, choosing to run a business after having a lot of money is more suitable for several reasons. I will explain my position providing examples to support my point of view.

First and foremost, what I put my priority in is proprities increasing. If you use your money to invest or build a business, your estate will have a chance to increase endlessly. For instance, if you use your money to open a small coffee shop, you can prosper by selling coffee everyday, which will help you to buy more than just one thing like a house. As a result, you will have a chance to have more cash than without building a business. More notable, if your properties are huge enough, you can use it to help the poor around you. Therefore, you can help a lot of people who has to suffer the poverty, starving, etc. Without any doubt, properties increasing is a appropriate reason to explain why we should build a business.

Secondly, it is relationship that holds no less importance. The more properties, the more admiration you will have which help you to meet new people with their own plans. When you meet those people, they will exchange their wisdoms and knowledges about money to you. Therefore, you can learn a lot of things about them as well as show them a part of your life to build a stable relationship. More importantly, when you have reputations, you can help more people to open their business. Until then, the people who got your help will become your assistants . Beyond doubts, Relationship building is another reason for my perspective.

Last but not least, what is equally central and cannot be left out is lifestyle improvement. By building a business, you can learn how to work effectively in a group or become multi-tasking. For examples, if you open a coffee shop, you need to learn how to regulate it in a suitable way or how to control your human resourses. Until then, you will adapt to the work and become better in dealing with problems arising in your business. Moreover, you can also learn how to inspire people, which make everyone repect you. Indeed, lifestyle improvement is also another suitable reason to support my opinion.

In conclusion, not only proprities increasing, relationship but also lifestyle improvement fosters my preference. I strongly recommend people take my explanation into consiseration to make a wise choice.
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Hi bạn. Mình có 1 vài ý kiến sau:

-Outline: có 3 ý rõ ràng, cụ thể. Nhưng cái ý lifestyle improvement nó k đúng lắm thì phải. Theo mình nghĩ lifestyle improvement thiên về phong cách sống hay hưởng thụ cuộc sống hơn. Còn ý phân tích của bạn trong đoạn là nó về cải thiện bản thân (mình nghĩ dùng từ personal development thì đúng với ý bạn phân tích hơn). Với lại cái ý trong paragraph 3: khi có tiền chúng ta giúp được nhiều người khởi nghiệp. Sau đó những người được giúp đỡ trở thành assistants của mình. Ý này mình thấy k liên quan lắm đến nội dung bạn đang phân tích. Nếu bạn muốn nó liên quan thì bạn nên phân tích kỹ hơn ý này để người đọc hiểu rõ ý của bạn.

-Grammar: good, nhưng còn 1 số lỗi: paragraph 2 ( properties increasing -> increased property: property k đếm được khi dùng với nghĩa là của cải; more notable -> more notably; help a lot of people who has to ->...who have to), paragraph 3 ( wisdoms and knowledges -> wisdom and knowledge)

 Hi vọng giúp được bạn ít nhiều.
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Bắt đầu nhận xét ở mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để bắt đầu kiếm point nhé :)