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Recently, travelling to different part of the world for tourist purposes has been a critical social phenomenon. Although the economic benefits to the host countries are relatively undeniable, I personally believe that the overall impacts of global tourism on society are obviously negative. There are two primary reasons for this.

First of all, increasing in international tourist activities are cause of creating an instability in host countries’ societies. In fact, almost international travelers come from rich parts of the world, who can afford to travel abroad, while underdeveloped and developing nations become their playgrounds where have to develop associate services to satisfy these guests. As a result, there is an uncontrolled rise of restaurants, bars as well as other negative aspects such as prostitution, alcoholism, drug abuse. Therefore, global tourism’ developments in long-term would be unpredictable dangers of social stability.

In addition, international tourists also have to be responsible for the destructions of natural environment, especially natural ecosystems. Currently, there are a variety of tourists in poor and developing countries and eco-tourists is one of the most attractive. However, the uncontrolled development of the this type of tourist has directly or indirectly destroyed a great number of natural habitats in various areas of our planet. For instance, many parts of Great Barrier Reef in Australia have been being demolishing because of international tourist activities. Hence, establishing as well as developing this type of tourist would damage to nature if exploiting and using natural ecosystems are not seriously managed.

In conclusion, tourist industry has brought the short-term benefits to host nations, while its long-term effects have been causes of raising social dark sides as well as hastening the demolishment of nature. Nevertheless, I believe possible policies of the host counties’ governments would be a key part to orient their tourism to a sustainable development.

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Bạn còn mắc nhiều lỗi đơn giản.

 

- Số ít / số nhiều: different part

- Thiếu 'the': are cause of

- Nhầm giữa most/almost: almost international travelers

- Chia động từ: eco-tourists is one

 

Và nhiều lỗi nữa. Bạn dùng được nhiều ý tưởng tốt, từ vựng đắt, nhưng với những lỗi này, bài của bạn sẽ không được tới 6.0.

 

 

Rating: 6.50
đã góp ý bởi (35 điểm)
+1 phiếu

Recently, travelling to different parts of the world for tourismt purposes has been a critical social phenomenon. Although the economic benefits to the host countries are relatively undeniable, I personally believe that the overall impacts of global tourism on society are obviously negative. There are two primary reasons for this.

First of all, increasesing in international tourist activities are the cause of creating an instability in host countries’ societies. In fact, almost international travelers come from rich parts of the world, who can afford to travel abroad, while underdeveloped and developing nations become their playgrounds where they have to develop associate services to satisfy these guests. As a result, there is an uncontrolled rise of restaurants and, bars as well as other negative aspects such as prostitution, alcoholism and, drug abuse. Therefore, global tourism developments in the long-term would causebe unpredictable dangers toof social stability.

In addition, international tourists also haveare also to be responsible for the destructions of natural environments, especially natural ecosystems. Currently, there are a variety of tourists in poor and developing countries and eco-tourists areis one of the most commonattractive. However, the uncontrolled development of the this type of tourist has directly or indirectly destroyed a great number of natural habitats in various areas of our planet. For instance, many parts of the Great Barrier Reef in Australia have been being demolisheding because of international tourist activities. Hence, establishing as well as developing this type of tourist would cause damage to nature if the exploitationing and use ofing natural ecosystems are not seriously managed.

In conclusion, the tourist industry has brought the short-term benefits to host nations, while its long-term effects have been causes of raisinghave raised social dark sidesissues as well as hasteneding the demolishment of nature. Nevertheless, I believe possible policies of bythe host countries’ governments would be a key part to orientof orienting their tourism to a sustainable development.

 

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý bởi (76 điểm)

Task achievement-5.0

Coherence and cohesion- 6.5

Lexical resource- 6.5

Grammatical range and accuracy-5.0

-          Trong mệnh đề quan hệ, sau Where là một mệnh đề, chứ không phải một động từ

-          Cause something to someone/ something

-          Bị động đối với câu dùng thì hiện tại hoàn thành là

Have/ Has been + Past Participle

-          Không dùng bị động với Cause

e.g: They cause me to lie to my parents

è I am made to lie to my parents

èThey have me lie to my parents.

( Không được sử dụng I am caused to …)

-          Damage (verb) something ( không có giới từ đi kèm)

Damage (noun) TO something


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