In this contemporary life, formal “pen and paper” examinations are considered an important way of measuring success in educational settings. However, many people have the belief that this method is not always the best option. In my view, educators should not only base on “pen and paper” examinations to assess students’ results (correct: rely on base on “pen and paper” examinations to assess students’ abilities or base their assessment/ evaluation of students on “pen and paper” examinations) .
There is no denying the fact that it is necessary to apply “pen and paper” examinations for the educational purpose. By doing this, students can be trained using their memorizing ability in doing tests requiring rote learning. In addition, to handle well writing (correct: written) tests, students have to learn how to arrange their ideas in logical orders. This is because those tests often force students to accomplish (correct: master/ us/ exercise) their idea-arrangement skill. Nevertheless, some students might feel stressed if they face tests checking their information memorization all the time. Besides, students’ bad hand-writings may not create a good impression to (correct: on) the examiners, which might lead to poor results regardless of their right answers.
Moreover, in real life, different students possess different types of intelligence. Therefore, in my opinion, teachers should vary the methods of examinations. In fact, some students have the advantage of verbal performance rather than in writings (correct: of writing). Others are better at body movements (one type of intelligence) suitable for professions such as dancing or acting, or they might be good at work related to machinery such as computer, and other types of real objects. This ( here you should use: "Hence, variation in examination methods[..]" to amplify the main point of the paragraph. Otherwise, there would be ambiguity in expression) would help students to adapt well to the real working environment, and achieve as much success as their peers in the future in this multi-job world.
In conclusion, although “pen and paper” examinations can assess students’ performance somewhat (correct: to some extent; or if you want, you can just place this word in front of "assess" to use it correctly), I believe that the variety of types of examinations is more vital in the modern time.
You can avoid repeating ""pen and paper" examinations" by using "conventinal/ traditional/ orthodox examinations"
- Ideas are at an acceptable level
- You have a fairly good understanding and usage of vocabulary and grammatical structures.
- The statements are supported by good and reasonable examples
- Repetition of words still occur as well as errors in vocabulary usage and expression.
- The reasoning is not succinct in some parts of your work. You should look for ways to simplify a sentence while retaining its full meaning.
My score for you is 7