nowadays, human are distroying (correct: destroying) the food web of the entire eco-system to produce things. it leads to the decline in the population of natural animals (correct: wild animals or wildlife). somepeople (correct: Some (people)) think that wild animals have no importance in the 21th century. preventing from extinction is a huge waste of human's resources. i think that idea is completely incorect (correct: incorrect).
needless to say, the diversity of nature offers may advantages to all the creatures live (correct: living/ that live) in it, concluding (correct: including) all the living things and they have linked together (correct: to each other) since the begining of the earth. by breaking every single conection between all the species, namdkind (mankind) is notonly distroying (correct: not only destroying) animals but also leading themselves to the distruction (correct: destruction). futhernore (correct: Furthermore), if we do nothing to save them, our next generations might not have a chance to see the beautiful and recive (correct: perceive) the advantages of nature.
one might think that protecting them is very expensive but it is nesesary (correct: necessary) to do that. there ia (correct: is) a clear link between deforestation and wild animal's extinction. the population of wild animals is declining because we are distroying (destroying) their habitats. therefore, protecting them and their natural habitats is protecting the enviroment. futhermore, we can still recive (correct: receive) benefits from saving them. for example, many residents choose the national parks or wildlife reservation areas to stay during their holidays. it will bring a great income to one's country and create more employment opotunities (correct: opportunities) for local people.
in conclution, i think it's important for everyone to have a say in this problem because when all is said and done, there is little we can do to save wild animals and the enviroment without the full support of (correct: from) the goverment and society.
Bài này bạn sai nhiều lỗi chính tả và lỗi từ vựng. Bạn nên rèn luyện lại. Nếu bạn không sử dụng được một vốn từ vựng hay ngữ pháp phong phú thì ít nhất bạn nên viết đúng chính tả và viết hoa đúng chỗ (đầu dòng và chữ I). Nếu bạn đáp ứng được như vậy cộng thêm có ý tưởng và sắp xếp thì bạn có thể lên band 4-5.5 hay 6 được.
Nhưng bây giờ mình chỉ có thể cho bạn cao nhất là band 3.
Chúc bạn viết tốt !