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Thành viên với 10 points trở lên sẽ được sửa bài bởi Team Writing 7.5 từ IELTS Planet - Học IELTS Online.
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Bài IELTS Task 2 ngày 10/01

Leaders and directors in an organisation are normally elder people.Some people think younger leader would be better.Do you agree or disagree?

Over the last decades, it is evident that employers of advanced ages have normally been preferred when it comes to company management. Yet, some individuals perceive young leaders as more appropriate for such positions. I totally concur with this viewpoint, with justifications mentioned below


To commence with, young people are allegedly more potential candidates, considering their profound knowledge, compared to older ones. This lies in the fact that an upsurge in the proportion of university graduates has been witnessed within several years. In other words, the youth nowadays usually take such high education as tertiary level, unlike the past when it was restricted to soly a minority of population. Plus, thanks to recent technological innovations, education quality has been significantly improved by dint of the availability of modern-device-equipped classrooms, for instance, computer-based ones. It is this solid foundation of knowledge that places callow employers at an advantage in the race with the older for corporate chief 

Furthemore, their young age also proves beneficial in terms of effective administration, which demands innovative entrepreneurs. More precisely, fresh out of colleges, they are full of energy, harbouring a crave for new experience. They are, accordingly, more willing to accept original concepts, whereas directors of middle age appear to be somewhat timid in this regard. That the majority of tycoons in the field of technology succeed at an early age provides a typical example. To put it another way, the flexibility and adaptibility merely observed in young age help these employers to think broad, an essential attribute of visionary leaders

In conclusion, the aforementioned arguments offer insights into vindications for the impression that young individuals stand a better chance of success as high-ranking managers , instead of those at great age as common belief. Therefore, it is of paramount importance that more opportunies be given to them, thus, enabling them to maximize their talent

 

(310 words)

Rating: 7.55
đã hỏi 19 Tháng 1, 2015 trong Opinion bởi hangvu149 (54 điểm)
share bài về Wall để xem lại ===>

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1 góp ý

+1 phiếu
Flexible using of word and Author know how to  
Avoid repeating of using once word but not change meaning
Far.
The writer has a clearly view throughout the essay.
Score . 7.5 is low confident.
I point 8.0 for this essay
Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý 20 Tháng 1, 2015 bởi bui tan (16 điểm)
thanks so much for ur nice comments. But can u be more specific about my point in 4 criteria, coz i'm gonna take ielts but still confused about these things

Tips: Thành viên với 10 points trở lên sẽ được sửa bài bởi Team Writing 7.5 :)
Bắt đầu nhận xét ở mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để bắt đầu kiếm point nhé :)
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